You Can Be Hurt in the Church & Still Raise Faithful Children (Part One)

You Can Be Hurt in the Church & Still Raise Faithful Children     January 25, 2026

There are few pains more confusing than being wounded by people who wear the name of Christ.

Many parents have sat in pews with a knot in their stomachs – betrayed by leadership, ignored in suffering, judged unfairly, or damaged by hypocrisy.  Some have endured church splits, public shaming, mishandled discipline, gossip, or spiritual neglect.  The pain is real.  The confusion is real.  And pretending it doesn’t exist only deepens the wound.

I know – because my family has lived it.  We know firsthand how it feels to have people spread false rumors about you.  We know what it feels like when elders refuse to follow Scripture or lead in a proper way.  We know what it’s like to go through a traumatic situation.  We know what it’s like to have church members treat you wrongly.

But here is the truth that must be spoken clearly – you can go through deep hurt in the church and still raise children who love the Lord, trust His Word, and remain faithful.  We know, because my wife and I raised four exceptionally faithful kids who watched us experience some very bad situations.

So the question is how do you prepare them to brace themselves for a storm?

The Church Is Made of People – Christ Is Perfect:

One of the most important lessons a parent can teach is the difference between Jesus and those who claim to follow Him.

Scripture never sugar-coats the reality that God’s people fail.

David was betrayed by close companions (Psalms 41:9).

Joseph was sold by his own brothers (Genesis 37).

Paul was abandoned by fellow laborers (II Timothy 4:16).

Jesus was betrayed by one of the twelve (Matthew 26:14-16).

Yet none of these walked away from God because people failed them.

Parents who help their children see this distinction – without excuses and without bitterness – lay a foundation for durable faith.  Christ remains perfect even when His people are not.

What Matters Most Is How Your Children See You Handle It:

The crucial issue is not whether your children know you were hurt.  The crucial issue is how they watch you respond.

Children are always taking notes.  Usually mental notes.  They observe whether parents become cynical or prayerful.  Whether they speak with restraint or with rage.  Whether disappointment drives them away from God – or deeper into His Word.  They watch if parents frame the situation as “our family versus the church.”  Remember, the church belongs to Christ – it is always good, even if the body inside has problems.

David said, “I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord” (Psalms 27:13).  Children need to see parents who refuse to lose heart – even when circumstances would justify it. If church hurt leads to constant complaining, sarcasm about Christians, or open disdain for the church, children quietly learn that faith is fragile and conditional.  But when parents handle pain with humility, truth, and an unwavering love for God, children learn something powerful:  God is worthy even when situations are hard.                                                                  

By Brad Harrub, Ph.D.