You Can Be Hurt in the Church & Still Raise Faithful Children (Part Two)

You Can Be Hurt in the Church & Still Raise Faithful Children           

February 1, 2026

Let Your Love for God Remain Evident:

One of the greatest dangers after church hurt is letting that experience slowly erode visible devotion.  It is very easy to skip some services or fellowship activities if those who hurt you are going to be present.  Attend anyway!!  God is worthy.

Parents who forget this may still “believe,” but prayer fades.  Bible reading diminishes.  Worship becomes optional.  And children notice the shift long before parents do.

The command to parents found in Deuteronomy 6 is not conditional on whether things are going smoothly.  The text says, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.  And these words…shall be on your heart.  You shall teach them diligently to your children.”

Children must see that pain does not steal affection for God.  That does not mean pretending everything is fine.  It means letting children see that God is still trusted, still obeyed, still loved – even when circumstances disappoint.

Anchor Their Faith in Scripture, Not Personalities:

After church conflict, there is a temptation to center the conversation on people – what someone said, what leadership did wrong, who failed.  Or maybe a preacher you loved was let go and you don’t understand why.

Here’s something to remember – faith cannot survive if it is built on personalities.  Paul warned against this very danger: “I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the increase… so then neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but God” (I Corinthians 3:6-7).

Parents must intentionally redirect their homes toward Scripture – daily reading, open discussions, honest questions, and careful application.  Children must learn that God’s Word remains steady even when people wobble.

Model Forgiveness Without Excusing Sin:

Finally, and this may be hard for some of you…you need to forgive and keep growing.  Forgiveness is not denial.  It is not weakness.  It is obedience.  Paul wrote, “Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).  When children see parents forgive – without minimizing wrongdoing – they learn that justice belongs to God (Romans 12:19), and bitterness does not have to rule the heart.  Because here’s the dirty little truth no one talks about.  If your children watch you go through a church issue and not forgive then they will likely do the same years later with even a weaker faith.

Faith Is Often Strengthened Through Difficulty:

So I want to encourage parents – you can go through church issues and still raise faithful children.  Oftentimes faith that survives disappointment is stronger than one never tested.  When parents remain faithful despite hardship, children see faith that is real – not shallow, not dependent on comfort, but anchored in truth.

If you have been hurt in the church, your pain is real.  But your children are watching.  Let them see a faith that endures, a love for God that does not fade and a response that honors Christ – even when others did not.

Your response today may be the very thing that anchors your children’s faith tomorrow.

By Brad Harrub, Ph.D.